A curveball of sorts

Posted by Sammy on Sep 25th, 2009 | one comment

Today started off pretty uneventful which for us is not too shabby. We got up, headed downstairs to the free breakfast our hotel offers, went back to our room and got ready for what would be a long first day at NIH. Gary had labwork at phlebotomy that took what seemed like 45 minutes to do. Then we headed up to clinic and waited another 45 minutes when Gary had to head downstairs for his CT scan of his chest to rule out a fugal infection. He came back upstairs within half an hour and then we waited another 45 minutes to get called back. Oh yeah as we were walking to our room Gary’s legs gave way again, just like the plane ordeal! That was fun, at least a doc was there with us.

Then he talked to the fellow and he left the room after about 20 minutes with us and went to get the team. I know I didn’t expect to hear what came out of the doctor’s mouth and I’m pretty sure Gary didn’t expect it either. The doctor basically gave Gary an out. He told him that usually after round 4 most patients are in remission and he didn’t seem too hopeful that rounds #5 or 6 would make that happen. Gary didn’t have to think long and hard on the choice he was given. He did what I would have done and that is to keep fighting the fight. He went into this knowing it was 6 rounds and here we are for round #6 so as long as he’s healthy enough to do it then why not give it a chance? Plus if he had decided to stop then he’d have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life, that “what if”. I know I couldn’t live with that hanging over my head day in and day out if I were in his shoes.

So he’s at the NIH getting another blood transfusion, yup he needs MORE blood, and he’ll officially start round #6 early tomorrow morning. We don’t know what lies ahead after this. All we know is that he’ll come back up to DC for tests in 3 weeks, but that’s it.

Never in my life have I felt more afraid. The anxiety of the unknown has been so overwhelming the closer we came to this final round. And I know its not going to get any easier any time soon. So much for having our lives go back to some bit of a normal after all of this.

All I want is for some better news, is that too much to ask for? Am I being too greedy to hope that he’d be cancer free in both his spinal fluid AND blood? All I do know is that I will cherish each day like it is my last. Not his last, my last. Cancer is an ugly ugly disease and I hope that one day a cure is created so that so many others don’t have to go through the pain and heartache that our family has had to go through.

The reason why I’ll continue to give….

Posted by Sammy on Sep 14th, 2009 | no comments

You might remember that back in July I felt this overwhelming need to do something. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it had to be something GOOD. Well we just so happened to have been at the NIH where Gary was undergoing his brain surgery for his Ommaya and I happened upon a booth right in front of the caferteria for the blood bank. There I learned that my blood type, A -, is not as common as I had thought. At that moment I knew what I had to do. I gave blood!

None of that really hit home until Gary needed blood himself. To think that someone just like me sat in a chair for about 15 minutes to give their blood to help Gary! Well I told Gary that I was going to make this a regular thing because quite honestly, why not! I’ll just make more of it. Giving blood these days is relatively safe and if I can save someone else’s life that’s really the least I can do. You apparently can only donate every 2 months and my 2 month mark has already passed, but I’ve already decided that I will once again give blood next week to commemorate the END of 6 cycles of chemotherapy.

I want to make this a regular thing for as long as I can give it. And more so because this past weekend Gary needed another blood transfusion. It was 3 units of blood, which means that it came from 3 different people (more than likely). Who knows what would have happened to him had he not gotten that blood! I’m extremely thankful to the 3 individuals that gave up their blood and sat in that chair, and probably was a tad lightheaded afterwards, all to help save a person that they do not know. And for this, I will continue to give my blood. It’s the least I can do to say thanks to those individuals and help others that need it the most.