A “club” of sorts

Posted by Sammy on Jul 15th, 2010 | no comments home title

The other night I sat down for the 2 hour episode of Deadliest Catch. I had been looking forward to this episode since early this year because one of the main characters, Phil Harris, passed away about a month after Gary passed away. It kinda hit home only because Gary and I religiously watched Deadliest Catch. I’d probably even go as far as saying that of all of the folks on the show Phil was our favorite. Tuesday’s episode was going to be “the” episode where he actually dies. Crazy that there were camera’s around for that. I had my tissues handy because I wasn’t quite sure how I’d react. I KNEW it would be sad, just wasn’t sure how sad it would be for me.

As I was watching it they’d do their normal boat clips and then they’d show clips of Phil in the hospital. One part with Phil really hit home. It was when he was talking and basically starts apologizing for stuff. That reminded me SOOOOOOO much of the last time Gary talked to me. I remember that day like it was just yesterday. Some of the things that he said just are things I could never forget. I remember him having full on conversations with Dr. P (his oncologist) even though Dr. P was not even in his hospital. I remember him apologizing to me for just everything. Ever since he got sick Gary felt like he was a burden to me, and that couldn’t have been further from the truth. He knew that if the roles were reverse he would have done the same thing for me, granted he’d quickly point out that he wouldn’t have done as great as a job as I had done. It’s that apology that Phil did that really hit home to me. It’s almost like when you are dying you kinda know its coming without really KNOWING its coming and you start making peace.

The other part of the show that really hit me and is really why I named this post the way I did was the moment when Josh got “THE” call from the hospital. At least he was awake when he got the call. But man that’s a moment he’ll never be able to forget because the moment I got the call about Gary is a moment I’ll never be able to forget. I could relive it and tell it in so much detail its crazy. There are things that I’d LOVE nothing more than to forget and me getting that call is probably one of them. That rush of adrenaline that I got was absolutely insane and quite frankly, I hope I never have to have another rush like that one. Anyone that has ever gotten a call like that knows that its something that lives with you forever. It’s not something you can ever forget.