TGIF??? I think not!
Call me bitter but I’ll never be thankful that its Friday. Friday’s are a reminder of losing my best friend, my husband, Mikey’s daddy. It’s only been 4 Friday’s but my Friday’s always start the same. A BIG sigh that I’m even up at 6am to get up for work. Then another sigh at 6:30 because that’s when my cell rang 4 Friday’s ago. I remember so vividly the feeling I got. My heart pounding like it was about to jump out of my chest. Racing across the pergo in our room hoping to not fall and break my leg while trying to gather some clothes to throw on to race to the hospital. Then waking up everyone I could in the house so that I didn’t go to ICU alone.
I remember getting to the hospital and running the hall to the elevators, then running again from the elevators on the 3rd floor to get to Gary’s room. The lights were all turned on. The curtain pulled. A bunch of people around his bed, performing CPR. I remember the doc coming out at one point to tell me that they’d try for 30 minutes, that was the max. I guess after 30 minutes he’s technically brain dead. As the clock ticked my panic grew and grew.
Now when I look at the clock and its 7:10am on a Friday I remember sitting there in front of his room hearing the doctor call the time. I heard it so vividly. Her voice is one I’ll never be able to forget. I remember sitting there as they came out of his room and the doc came up to me and I let out a scream because I didn’t want to hear what she had to tell me. I knew Gary was gone.
So yeah I’ll never be thankful its Friday. Maybe one day when I’m senile I will be. But right now nope not gonna happen. To top it off I get to go through a weekend and then I get hit by what will be the 1st day of February. I’ll have hit a month without my Gary. One freaking month! It’s still seems to unreal and yet the pain is still so very raw.
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A recent widow and single mom doing my best to survive on my own.
Last year I told Gary that I'd raise $1k at the 2010 walk, please help me reach my goal. This year Gary is one of the Honored Heroes for the walk so its even extra special to me. :) Just click on the Sponsor Me image to be taken to my fundraising page. Thank you!!!
Help me get to my 1st Half Marathon in Walt Disney World where I will run in memory of Gary :)
Send you thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))
Hang in there. It sucks, but try your hardest to be strong. We’re all here for you!
XOXOXO