His Happily Ever After

Posted by Sammy on Aug 20th, 2010 | one comment

From time to time I go onto the Widow boards that I used to frequent early on in this new journey of mine. I have drifted away from those boards because a lot of the time they are too depressing to read. So much hurt and pain in lots of posts and I just don’t feel like I need to surround myself with all of that sadness anymore.

Well today I ventured on the widow boards just to do a quick glance and see if there was anything interesting to read, sometimes there really is something non-depressing to read. I came across a post from a lady that is dating a guy and this guy basically came out and told her that he felt like she was his Happily Ever After, his Once In A Lifetime. Beautiful words to say to someone. It basically freaked her out to hear that come from his mouth.

The first person to reply to her post basically told her to look at it this way, she was her late husband’s Happily Ever After. His Once in a Lifetime. And when you think of it that way, one word…..WOW! You take such a morbid and horrible event and you put a positive spin on it. How would anyone not want to have *THAT* at the time they die? I know I want that Happily Ever After when I die. That’s probably why I’ve chosen to make each and every day of my life right now a happy one because quite frankly I don’t know if I’ll be here. So until I find that Happily Ever After, well I’m going to be happy on my own

Lack of S.L.E.E.P

Posted by Sammy on Jul 21st, 2010 | no comments

Boy have I forgotten what it was like to be a zombie during the day because you were up at the weirdest hours of the night. I used to never complain about Mikey’s sleeping habits because he was always a GREAT sleeper. That’s definitely something we lucked out on. All of a sudden though…..he’s a horrible sleeper. For the past 2 weeks he has started putting up a fight going down for bed. Not a huge fight, he just insists on having mommy stay with him. Almost like he’s afraid I’m going somewhere. That turned into him waking up around 3am EVERY SINGLE DAY! Except for the weekend where he would wake up at 5am instead. Woohoo I got an extra 2 hours!

He’s been back at it this week. Some days its 3am, others its 4. Last night, however, he woke up twice. At 1am and then again at 4am! Since he’s in the toddler bed he can easily climb out and run to my room. Can I say heartattack!!!! Because he’s been doing this for the past 2 weeks its been interrupting my sleep. I’m finding that I’m waking up before he comes storming into my room. So I’m never hitting deep sleep.

Last week I thought it were monsters so we made a sign for his door to keep the monsters out and a concocted some spray with lavender oil and water that we spray around his room to keep them away. It worked for 1 night! My latest attempt is a sound machine. Maybe there are some noises going on outside his room in the middle of the night so I’m hoping this will keep him in bed. That’s tonight’s experiment and I really really hope it works. I NEED to sleep or else I’m going to start getting sick and fast.

If that doesn’t work my next attempt will be at room darkening curtains. I’m really hoping I don’t have to resort to that, but I’m not too optimistic about the sound machine. I have a feeling the curtains will be ordered tomorrow

Today I got to thinking that maybe this fear that mommy is going to leave has something to do with the fact that maybe he’s putting two and two together and realizing that daddy is not coming back and he’s afraid that mommy will do the same. I mean in his little head one day he was awake and daddy was there and when he went home and went to sleep daddy was gone…forever. He has no concept that mommy won’t do the same thing. If this is the case none of my little tricks will end up working and I’ll have to probably see a child psychologist to see what I can do to reassure him that mommy isn’t going anywhere.

Day 20 of 21….

Posted by Sammy on Jul 20th, 2010 | no comments

and a habit is definitely forming. There is truly something to say about a habit taking 21 days to form. For me its definitely true. Granted I’ve technically been a member of my gym for longer than 21 days but I’ve actually gone to the gym to work out for a total of 20 days. I have yet to decide if tomorrow or Thursday will be big day #21!

Today I decided to venture back into the world of Couch-2-5K (a.k.a. C25K). I started doing C25k a couple of years ago, well before Mikey was even a thought in the Zullo house and I didn’t last that long for whatever reason. Then a couple of months ago when it was actually still pretty cool out I decided to restart it since a good friend of mine was doing it. That didn’t last long either because the rainy season started moving in and that literally rained on my parade. So I stopped that. So I decided to restart it once again since I was back at the gym. Today was Week 1 Day 1 (W1D1) and let me just say it was a hell of a lot easier running on a treadmill than it was outside. Probably because I wasn’t pushing a jogging stroller around with a 30lb little boy inside. I’m actually excited to do Day 2